My encounter with Conan O’Brien


I was in my bathroom the other day, cleaning out the cabinet under the sink. I noticed a little green door in the back of the cabinet, a little door I had never seen before. I opened it and crawled through … and I entered a magical shopping mall filled with frolicking unicorns and dancing leprechauns and Lionel Richie music. In the food court of the magical mall, there was a KFC. I went inside it and (behold!) Conan O’Brien was sitting at a table. I asked if I could sit with him and (behold!) he said I could.

Then, as we were eating, he leaned over and whispered something to me. He said he was a risk-taker and a rule-breaker and a cake-baker and a yard-raker. I was amazed! And then he confided in me further and revealed that he was a smooth-talker and a fast-walker and a Facebook-stalker and a bathtub-caulker! While he was telling me all this, I discreetly reached over and stole a chicken wing from him.

Filled with rage, Conan O’Brien transformed into a pterodactyl and flew away, spraying me with dung as he flapped out of the restaurant. I was sad because I had failed to get his autograph … but I happily scarfed down the rest of his coleslaw and mashed potatoes.

So it goes, so it goes.

Matthew David Curry 2014



16 thoughts on “My encounter with Conan O’Brien

  1. Celebrities. Sheesh. I shook hands with Nixon at a luncheon/speech, part of a three day mini convention on Miami Beach,attended by only 100 select people in 1965. Again in the rope line at Tampa airport in 1968 and again in the rope line at Miami airport in 1972. You’d think he’d make me Secretary of the Treasury or something, right? Not even a post card. So much for celebrity friendships.

  2. LOL. A hilarious read. Sometimes I wonder why celebrities must be…celebrities. So full of themselves. I also wonder do like giving autographs and signing a piece of paper for us. I’ve met a few musicians and entertainers who toured Australia and they signed my stuff…sort of looking at me with half an eye, if you know what I mean. Have a good week, Matt πŸ™‚

    • I remember you writing about a concert not too long ago. So they were checking you out, huh? πŸ™‚ I met Jack White after a concert in Atlanta back in 2006. He signed my cigarette pack. (I smoked back then. I don’t anymore.) I still have that box. I plan to keep it forever.

      • Yeah, didn’t really catch the attention of the hot guitarist haha. I’m going to another concert next month, hope to get the meet and greet passes πŸ˜€

        Ah, Jack White. I loved him in the White Stripes. You are so lucky to get his autograph, it must have been very hard to get, and I hope you didn’t get shoved around πŸ™‚

      • Good luck. πŸ™‚ No, it wasn’t really that hard. I just had to hang out behind the building with several other people after the show. We all lined up beside a velvet rope and he walked by with the other guys. We was playing with his other band, the Raconteurs, that night. It was amazing. How are you feeling? Still have a cold?

      • Thanks, Matt, I really hope to get passes to meet Kina Grannis next month, I should know if I got them by this week. I’m never up waiting around to see bands after they play, because it seems like they take a long time to come out. But waiting paid off for you πŸ™‚

        I’m feeling better, still tired. Lots of writing projects this week, that’s a plus.

  3. I love cole slaw and mashed potatoes… and love this post! A little Girl Watcher – meets – Space Cowboy – meets – Being John Malkovich – meets – KFC. Not many could pull it off with such panache as you, Matt.

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